heartbreak story
11:39 pm - 01.23.2005
Ok...First of all, I seriously am officially a slacker! I did not have work today and still did not do my homework and now it's almost close to midnight and still no progress of anything being done. Gawd! What's wrong with me? What ever happened to the old Kristine that would pull an all-nighter just to get everything done? What ever happened to the girl that used to have everything in place? Can someone answer me? Oh wait I know! hehe...It's all because of a heartbreak! A heartbreak that was heard all throughout the halls of McQueen high school and still, leaving a trail of jagged pieces of my heart where ever I go, remains hopelessly in love with a guy that broke my heart more ways than one. I just can't seem to break away from this cycle of love and pain, but then again people would say that love is pain and pain is love, and to make matters worse is when people would get involve in situations when they need not to be, making things more complicated than they already are. I'm not sure if what I've done in the past year has made me wiser, if anything, it just made me more confused than ever before. I have not found any answers or finalized anything since I still don't know what to do. I'm pretty sure that people see me as someone who won't accept reality especially to those people who sees it on the guy's point of view, but for me, it's different. Something like this is too overwhelming for me to just 'get over it' as they would tell me. I gave my everything --- heart, body, and soul --- to the guy that promised me everything, but I got burnt in the end, and I still do, eveyday, everytime I take him back. I know that I should have learned my lesson already, but obviously, I haven't and obviously, my heart just won't let go. They say to cry is to know that you're alive, but how come when you cry it feels like you're dying? And I also promised myself that I wouldn't cry over a guy, that the guy should be the one crying over you, but in my case, it's the other way around. I've never cried over a guy so much as I had done with Soakai. Then again, it's my fault since I took him back all those times and believed everything he told me. I just really want to know...when will I be happy again?