-
10:40 pm - 01.16.2005
aloha! ok...my theme is a tropical feel since I want to live in Hawaii so bad! I just want to live in a small hut by the beach and sleep underneath a palm tree on a hammock watching the stars as the tide come in at night. *sigh* Well, first of all, what you guys need to know is that I am a major hopeless romantic and I believe that love never fails or dies. I strongly believe in love. My boyfriend/ex-boyfriend is my first love, but I'm not sure if he's my true love anymore. At first I thought he is, but drama took over our relationship. My relationship with him, by the way his name is Soakai, is completely jarred since family and friends get in the way. I'm not even sure if we're meant to be anymore. And the sad part is that he was the one who proposed all the fate and destiny idea of us being together which made me believe that we are meant to be, but now...I'm not so sure. I just don't know what to do anymore since he's changed and yet he still doesn't want to change. It's hard to explain. I'm so lost on what to do about 'us', if there even is an 'us'. I don't know...maybe I'll just let things flow on their own, but...I'm not sure if I should just take charge and just tell him how I feel. But I know myself and I know that I would back down and wouldn't say what's in heart and leave things unsaid. Again. I always do that. I think that's one of my flaws. That and believing in love will conquer all things. *sigh* I just don't know...